On The Fringe
I have a small confession to make friends. I'm on the fringe.
In fact, my whole life I've been on the fringe.
I was never popular in school. For better or worse, I've always marched to the beat of my own drum. It dawned on me recently, as I inch ever more closely to my five year mark in New York, that I still very much exist on the fringe.
Before I moved here I imagined my life looking very differently. I believed so naively that New York would embrace me like a coveted gem. I would be invited to all the "in" parties. I would make an impression, do things differently, really be a "somebody". Truth be told, that couldn't be further from reality.
Somehow after three and a half years here, I still exist on the fringe. I still peer from the sidelines, hoping, praying for my big break. I wonder if my affinity for integrity, for sincerity, has somehow relegated me to no man's land in the business world. If only I could schmooze better, have a little more edge, maybe, just maybe, I could get ahead.
But by the same token I wonder if being on the inside is really anymore fun?! Perhaps being on the fringe is really where the exciting stuff happens. When you aren't looking over your shoulder all the time, wondering who is watching you, whether you look the right way, or are associating with the right people, maybe you actually just get to be...
Not long ago I listened to the remarkable David Downton speak at FIT. He said that he never wanted to be "in" fashion because that meant you eventually had to be "out". So perhaps, after all is said and done, being on the fringe is really where I ought to be...